The big one

SALE that is.

Tori told me a few days ago that Smith's Marketplace was having a big sale. Devoted friend that she is, she even called me on her cell from the store to tell me there were tall sizes for men. I have shopped for Greg for nearly 10 years now. And trust me when I say the big and tall store is extremely expensive.

Friday Jack and I go to Smith's Marketplace to partake of the big sale. We wander around and around and discover that there aren't even any clothes at Smith's Marketplace!! Dumb Tori, she probably meant Sears. So to Sears we go and end up late for preschool.

Tori comes home and I happen to be outside so I say in my most good humored tone: "you said that sale was at SM, but they don't even have clothes there!" She insisted that they do so I pile my family back in the van and head back up there to prove her wrong.

Well, low and behold, there's half a store I never knew existed!!!!! And I was the dumb one then. The heavens smiled upon us that evening and we had many exciting thing occur.

1. MOST of the sale items (70% off, mind you) were on Men's big and tall and women's plus sizes! Happy day, we did a little dance of joy. Well, I did a little dance, Greg wirrrred in a circle on his motorized cart.

2. I filled both kid's little carts with clothes and off to the dressing room we went...and Greg wirrrred behind us.

3. Everything fit Greg, he looked handsome as always. He came out to get something I was handing him and the dressing room door shut.....and locked. There he was in his pants and garment top. For all the store to see. I told him to duck down, I even threw him a snazzy little number I intended to try on. He would do neither. As luck would have it, I think the garment top he wore was one purchased for his mission. He's 35.

4. Jack observed many mannequins without heads or arms wearing tops of different styles. After looking intently for a few minutes, he said: "I bet their arms and heads were CUT OFF by a LIGHT SABER!" Probably.

5. Big Mama found lots of dandy buys as well. I tried them all on in the big dressing room in the men's section with Halle dancing in the mirror in front of me, Jack running circles around me, and Greg throwing everything on the floor saying over and over again "You don't have to hang anything back up...they LIKE to do that."

6. I asked his opinion, and all he said was "It's looks great....you're hot." in his most uninterested monotone. The only think he actually commented on was the top that obviously needed a shirt underneath (which I didn't have on.) He pointed out with the empty (of course) hanger in his hand that it showed too much cleavage. Gee thanks for the help.

7. I made my purchase of 2 pairs of pants, 3 tops for me, 4 shirts for Greg and a jacket for Greg AFTER I sent them ALL OUT TO THE CAR. And how much did it all cost????

8. Under one hundred dollars. Take THAT Big and Tall store!