This may be a huge shocker...okay not really, but I have picked on days. Days when I feel like the universe is conspiring against me. It seems like no matter what I do, it's never quite enough. Well, today is one of them.
Without fail, these are the days when I do a little blog hopping and find one that really ticks me off. I found one tonight. Someone I knew from high school. And let me tell you, THEY have big problems. A corner of their basement flooded, and guess what? When they pulled up the carpet, it was dirty. Oh gracious! And she went on and on about this carpet and how it was...wait for it....PROBABLY original to the house. Oh mercy!
*Sigh* Some people and their problems.
So I guess I have a problem with envy. I don't envy your big house. It would just be more for me to clean. And I don't envy your SUV. My little Ghetto Reddo is just fine. I don't pay a thing for her and when people look at me on the freeway with my duct taped side mirror, I wave and smile. Wave and smile. And sometimes give a little shimmy. Doesn't bother me any.
Want to know what I am envious of? Your trials. Your horrible trial that you struggled through last week. You know, the one that made you sad not only on Monday, but Tuesday too? The one that's over now? Yeah. And I am also a little green over the dilemma about your lawn, or your wall color.
During one talk at Womens Conference someone said: "If reading other peoples posts on Facebook make you feel inadequate, or reading others' blogs make you jealous, then just stop. Stop reading it." Now, I am not a girl who has ever needed someone permission to do what I want. I just do it. So why did that strike a chord in me? Why had I never thought of that myself? And here I thought I was a pretty smart cookie. (Actually, I know I am pretty smart. Wanna know how? I work with the general public. They all call me on the phone. Guess what? The general public is not all that bright.)
So tonight I am going to heed the advice of womens conference. I am going to take my picked on self to bed and go to sleep. I'm not blog hopping anymore and I might just wave goodbye to Facebook too. I don't really care about what someone I knew 20 years ago had for lunch. If it makes you feel bad, then stop doing it. It's such a good idea. I'll have to still read SOME blogs. And now that I think about it, didn't they also say the the opposite of envy was gratitude? Why yes, yes they did. I might just work on that gratitude concept a little more.
Are my trials nearly over? No ma'am. It's been years and I am still in the thick of it. Are they material or inconsequensial? Nope. We are losing body parts over here and some of us are so lost in darkness that I wonder if we'll ever see them again. Maybe not in this life. Our trials are life threatening and eternally relevant. I try to put on a smile and carry on the best I can. It the only thing to really do. If you stop to complain then you are STOPPING. Don't stop! Keep moving forward.
This last weekend someone asked me what I have learned these last ten years. And here it is: I have learned that it's true what they say about trials and character. I quite like the person I am. I can handle just about anything that comes our way. I remember when I would lay on the bathroom floor and sob, thinking I COULDN'T do it. I just couldn't handle it anymore. But you know what? You don't get to make that decision. You don't get to decide when you are done. The only way out, is to go through. So stop complaining, keep your chin up and get on with it. I am now learning that some days, it's best to walk through with your eyes straight forward. For Pete's Sake, don't look around! You may see someone crying over dirty carpet. And it just might tick you off.
I will leave you with the words of Winston Churchill, who said:
If you're going through hell, keep going.
And this little link. I like it, and it speaks to me. And you know about things that speak to me...
6 comments:
Alright, so I know the last thing you want is a comment saying how wonderful you are and that everyone has trials and blah blah blah, so I am not going to say any of that...excpet that I quite like the person you are too!
I really hope you don't stop reading my blog...that I only post on once a year or Eli's blog for that matter...cause it's just hilarious!
I miss you terribly and think we need to get together ASAP! I was having a "why is the world out to get me" day just this weekend so I can relate, we need to get together and vent about it!
I love you Jen.
Hi there! You don't know me, but I know Greg (from years past). Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this last post! I think you are one AMAZING woman with everything you have gone through! Wishing you a better day tomorrow! :)
FYI--I went on a blog hiatus (reading and posting) and from Facebook for awhile too for that very reason. I was sick of hearing about everyone else's life. Life is hard and when you're just reading about how awesome everyone else's lives are (the things they tend to post) it can really put you in a funk. I have rules about blogging and facebook now. It's necessary. I, for one, think you are superwoman. And in case it makes you feel better, a lot of people have really sucky things happening in their lives that you just can't see. So don't envy too much. :)
Well, your trials testify to your greatness. After all, you had to know me ;) and that is a pretty big trial in and of itself.
I think your wisdom, insight, empathy, and other gifts are a result of your initial spirit + your trials. And you have more than that the general public, or probably your friend from high school :)
And, your high school friend is also tested to her limits. But she refuses to look at (or publish it) them and thus to learn from them. I am more tired of pretending everything is ok. Nothing gets fixed that way.
So, you are just being a bit more real, perhaps.
love your writing...and...you know
Ryan
I've been warning you about Facebook and blogs for years...they're good time wasting playgrounds for the nosey, the attention-starved, the naricisstic. And, sometimes in your case, the sycophantic. But every now and then you really knock one out of the park. This is one of those posts. Amazing.
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