What I've learned

Our marriage hasn't been easy.  We've gone through lots of things together. 

This is what I've learned:

1.  Bad times don't last forever.
2.  Good times don't last forever.
3.  Kindness goes a long way.
4.  It is easiest to be the meanest to your spouse.
5.  Apologize.
6.  Sometimes, arguments are the vehicle to getting to the bottom of the problem.
7.  Talk to your kids, they aren't dumb and they know when things aren't right.
8.  Nothing feels better than always being backed up by your spouse.
9.  Admit when you are wrong.
10.  Learn that anticipation is usually better than the real thing.
11.  Expectations usually lead to disappointments.
12.  Be the cheerleader.  Even if you are doing in the dark, late at night, and are rolling your eyes.
13.  Soft and gentle are more effective than loud and harsh.
14.  Take responsibility.  Don't offer an excuse.
15.  Trials are better faced with a united front. Be on the same side of the fight.
16.  Nothing is as destructive as shame.
17.  Anger is usually a cover up for hurt or embarrassment.
18.  If you need to step away from people or places or events for awhile.  Do it.
19.  Envy is conquered with gratitude.
20.  It gets better, if you can just hang on.
21.  Hold hands.  Even when things are bad.
22.  Spiritual and emotional trials are harder than physical.
23.  Look back at everything you've already gone through.  Use it to boost yourself up.
24.  "Well, it could be worse, just look at so and so...."  Is not helpful.
25.  It's okay to be angry.  Call me, I'm angry too.
26.  The hardest talks are easier done in the dark.
27.  In the worst of situations, there is peace to be had.  If you know where to look.
28.  Never underestimate the power of a best friend.
29.  Cry in the bathtub.
30.  Pity and admiration from others always feels awkward.
31.  Look around and serve.
32.  Learn to gracefully accept praise.
33.  If you don't want to talk to anyone, don't answer the phone....or the door.
34.  Nothing hurts more than being lied to.
35.  Listen to your inner voice. Forget what you think you are "supposed to do."
36.  Expect to feel absolutely hopeless.  Also expect it to pass.
37.  Things are always better in the morning.
38.  Talking to someone who has been where you are is better than talking to someone who just feels badly for you.
39.  Don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want to do.
40.  Nothing feels as regretful as not standing up for your child.
41.  If you want someone to do something for you, be nice about it!  That phrase-you catch more flies with honey- is so true.
42.  Strive to find the humor in life. 
43.  When someone is struggling, listening is enough, you don't have to find solutions.
44.  Don't lecture someone on something they already know.
45.  When you go out of your way to help someone, they realize it and it speaks volumes.
46.  You can't do everything.  Me personally-I'm a failure at laundry.  Anyone who loves me-knows it.
47.  Blood really is thicker than water.
48.  Just because someone is mad at you doesn't mean they don't love you.
49.  You shouldn't explain yourself to someone.  Tell people just what they need to know.
50.  The greatest things to seek and hold tightly too are love and hope.
51.  You're stronger than you think you are.

This list was easy to write.  I could have gone on and on.  It's not just regurgitated "good advice."  Each of these things have an experience behind it.  They are the lessons I have learned, and the things that I know.

What do you know?