My dog is dying.

Seriously. 

I wonder every morning if she will wake up. 

Why is she dying?  Well.....it's a long story.

Pull up a chair.

The first thing you need to understand is that she's not smart.  And I don't say that because our last dog was a Border Collie, (the smartest breed) and she doesn't compare to him. 

I think she's dumb even for a Lab.

But!  She knows her name and when you say it she comes.  So right off the bat she's got it all over the cats. 

Apparently, what she doesn't know, is if random objects are edible or not.  For example, she loves popcorn and bananas, but she'll also eat cat poop.  She munches down her Beneful, but she also eats candy wrappers with no candy in them.  See?

Usually at night when she's not waking me up to let her out, she is sound asleep.  About 5 am last Wednesday, Halle came into my room and said:

"Sage is choking on my sweater."
 I replied
"uggghhhhhhhh." and went back to sleep.

When we woke up two hours later I found that Sage had chewed Halle's favorite sweater exactly in half and swallowed it.  Not chewed it into little pieces and munched on it.  She swallowed it whole.

And then the puking began.

And she stopped eating.

And *shock* she stopped pooping.

So I took her in to see the vet on Friday.  He did some x-rays and clearly visible on those xrays are....

Snaps.

The sweater didn't have snaps.  She's eaten other crap that I didn't know about.  I think the snaps are on doll clothes..... because, you know, my country western shirt is still hanging in my closet.

The vet called around and found two different vets in SLC who have endoscopy machines.  Do you wonder how much a sweater-ectomy is?  More than a thousand dollars.  And you know that if I pay that, it's not like she will have learned her lesson.

So they kept her all afternoon and gave her puke medicine.  And she puked and puked, but no clothes came out.  They sent her home with a big tube of laxative paste.  She happily licks it off a paper plate.  (I guess that's the silver lining of her willingness to eat anything.....if you were looking for one.)

Unfortunately, no clothes have escaped out the back end either. 

So I continue to lube her guts everyday, and I wait.

I hope and pray they pass before she does.