Gladly

Tomorrow, Greg and I will celebrate our anniversary.
14 years.

14 LONG years.

It's been a doosy of a marriage, I tell ya.  It seems like we knelt across from each other in the temple, said "yes", and then all hell broke loose.

For 14 years.

Last night, Greg and I had a conversation.  We talked and talked and at one point I said:

"I don't even want to celebrate our anniversary in any way.  It's been an awful 14 years."

I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

This morning I was awakened by a call from my visiting teaching companion and friend.

She said "I need some help. I was trying to get a spaghetti sauce recipe in the crockpot, but I can't do it."

I put my shoes and my bra on, walked to the peach tree and picked the four biggest most beautiful peaches I have ever seen, and got in the car. When I walked through her front door she was lying on the floor in between the kitchen and the dining room. Next to her was an empty bowl.

She has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her bones and brain. We are the same age, she has three kids from 11-5 years old.

I knelt down beside her and we chatted for a minute. I took the recipe out of her hand and we talked about this and that as I continued in her kitchen where she had left off.

After awhile, I noticed she had some over ripe bananas so I started some banana bread. She walked me through making her a green shake of some sort and then she began to feel a bit better. When she stood up, she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

She thanked me for coming and then, she began to sob. She expressed her frustration and sadness.

I held this very thin, very frail, woman in my arms for 4-5 minutes, and I was struck.

Here was a woman I love, and my heart aches for her. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. And then I had the though...

There are some people who lay in bed at night, willing to do ANY trial for the chance to see their children grow up.  To celebrate another year with their husband.  To live in this trial-filled, complicated world.

I was overcome with gratitude for my life, my trials, my marriage, and my opportunity to mother my children. I was grateful for the opportunity to slice peaches into her children's cereal bowls, feed her dog, and wash her dishes.

I came home and climbed into my husband's lap and cried.  I'll take my husband and his addiction.  I'll take our hard, and complicated life.

I'll take my trials gladly.

Happy Anniversary after all.