We just had General Conference. I know because I got sick on german pancakes and slept through one whole session. Jack took pictures to mock me with later.
I missed Elder Holland. That man speaks to me in a very sincere way. He and his wife had Covid and did not attend. However, this morning on Facebook he released a message. It, in part, said:
“May we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed, and in courage, and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear.”
How do we do this? What does it look like? I’m intrigued with the thought of being “more fully disciples of Jesus Christ ….in deed and in courage and in faith”
Especially in the specific times mentioned.
Maybe start with the first example of “When the path is lonely”
Examples lonely paths for me include:
Eating lunch alone at school
Sitting at church alone as a single mom
Sitting in an ICU room
Walking into file divorce papers
Laying in a hospital bed in the middle of the night
Having a panic attack on top of a mountain in the night
Dropping your precious child off at the MTC and seeing her crying in your rearview mirror
attending school functions and games and sitting alone
Being lonely is hard. And it feels so alone. Forgotten even. It's easy to feel bitter or picked on. It's easy to be angry instead of humble and vulnerable. So how do we confront these times with more courage, more faith?
Well the easy answer and the one I most often fall back on is prayer. It's so convenient. And it's almost BETTER when you are alone. You can be VERY sick and in LOTS of pain and still be able to pray. Sometime the loneliness lingers even through the most heartfelt prayer.
How about music? I am often surprised when a line from a song speaks to me. I'm shocked that not only has someone else felt the way I do, they wrote a song about it. Our experiences and emotions are more universal than we can see.
So what if we aren't actually the one who feels lonely and instead it's someone we love. Or maybe even a stranger? I had a sweet experience a year ago. A friend of Jack's took his own life. I knew of this friend. They were close. We had met a few times. I felt an indescribable urge to contact his mom. I am shy. I am introverted. I do not contact strangers. I do not reach out and introduce myself. It's not in my make up. But the desire to do this was very strong. I found her on Facebook. I sent her a message. I felt dumb, and embarrassed, and second guessed everything I wrote. She texted back. I messaged her quite a few times, I brought her a Dr Pepper as she wrote her talk for the funeral. At the viewing, I actually met her. It was a sweet moment and I have reached out to her a few times since. I had the COURAGE to be a disciple of Jesus Christ in my deeds. And while it probably didn't change anything in her broken heart, it changed MINE. It was a very specific turning point when as a 43 year old, I was comfortable moving past my shyness and introvertedness on an errand for the Lord.
So then what about the other example? "When our cross is difficult to bear"
Examples for me include:
Walking into your ex husbands viewing
Checking in for Jail visiting hours
Walking to a gazebo to get married for a second time
Being a single mom
Surviving divorce- when none of your friends are
Attending NA meetings
Trying to blend two families with teenagers
Having a front row seat to the destruction of addiction
Having a 1 and 3 year old alone for Christmas because your husband was hospitalized for > 2 months
Being unable to pay those hospital bill
Oh the days of feeling the burn of unfairness. I've stopped expecting anything in this life to be fair. We were never promised fair on this earth. I haven't always been successful in turning my heart to Jesus Christ. I haven't always chosen to not be bitter and angry and full of rage. I've spent a few years ignoring church, not answering the door when the Elders Quorum came, or die hard Home Teachers. I've been angry and sad and picked on. There isn't much courage or faith on that route.
Courage and faith come in looking outside of yourself. Do the simplest thing you can. The day I took my kids to visit Greg in jail, I came home and took the biggest, most beautiful peach on my tree to my elderly neighbor. I didn't say anything and neither did he. He just hugged me and then I went home.
How can we be more of a disciple of Jesus Christ in deed to others who are bearing a cross that is difficult? For some of us it takes courage and faith in the promptings and direction we feel. I often second guess myself. I can't fix it. Maybe I'll offend them. Maybe they will yell that they don't need my help. Maybe I have it all wrong and gosh that will be SOOO embarrassing. I'm learning in the last few years to not be afraid of doing something. Write a sweet note to YW who is struggling. Tear it up and write a new one when you realize you didn't actually say what you were supposed to say. Send it in the mail. Hug her tight when she finds you during the next activity. Listen to a friend without judging or "fixing" it. Bake bread for a new mom. Tell whatever little person who is with you WHY you are bringing bread. Let them write the note and tie the bow. Let them hide behind you as you deliver it. And then.....THEN make sure you help them know that feeling that they have right at that moment? That's the Holy Ghost telling you good job.
Recently, I was given the cross of YW President. It was heavy. Be the counselor who texts you late at night and cheers you on. Be the YW who thanks their leader and tells them they love them. Be the spouse who makes dinner after you've spent 6 hours at church in meetings. Be the sweet husband who encourages you and covers you up with your minky when you've cried yourself to sleep. Don't expect that you will be good at it, or graceful. Just expect to have the courage to TRY and the faith to DO.
Truly, when we are on the errand of Jesus Christ, we won't go wrong.
No comments:
Post a Comment