A mission

I’ll admit I was a tiny bit jealous. SOOOO proud, but a little jealous when Halle decided to serve a mission, got her call, and left. It was such an amazing opportunity for my tender hearted, shy, over achieving daughter. I ALSO wanted to go on a grand adventure, making lifelong friends, change lives, overcoming shyness, and growing my testimony! Instead, I bought Halle dresses and luggage, gave her a pep talk and tried *really hard* to send her off at the MTC with a smile and excitement instead of any tears.  

Then I went home and carried on. 

Halle struggled and thrived. She cried in the shower and her testimony grew. In December, my Bishop called me in and asked me to be the YW President. I had been in the YW organization for a long time in different ways. Never President. I agreed, and began praying for help calling the right women to be my counselors. And I never stopped praying. I was blessed beyond measure with the women who agreed to serve with me. They were my strength, my cheerleaders, and my sounding board. We worked in perfect sync and I love them......like lifelong friends. 

Almost immediately we began to have a few issues. Injuries during activities, issues with families, and other heartbreaking things. I fasted. I prayed. I cried in the shower for my sweet YW who were being given such hard trials. We went to Youth Conference and did ropes courses, we went to Girls Camp and backpacked into an overnight camp. We tubed rivers and lakes. It was so fun and so hard...It was all a grand adventure. 

Perhaps the sweetest experience was to experience all of this with my stepdaughter. She came to stay with us the year I was YW President. She helped me with activities, she helped me with ideas, she helped me be excited. I prayed for her the most. I prayed that the example I was and the things I taught her in that year would be enough. It wasn’t. And when she moved to Sheridan with her mom, I cried tears of failure. Sure she could pray now, she had learned basic gospel truths, and she had felt the love of service. I hope she’ll lean into those things when she needs them. I so wanted to immerse her in the YW program and hoped the Spirit would change her life. It may have, I don’t know. I know it changed mine.

 I was asked to do scary things. Conduct, lead, make decisions, attend ward council. ALL things I hate. Have you been to Ward Council? They make you pray! In front of all the ward leaders. My Bishop would look straight at you, out of the blue, and ask for your opinion. It was terrifying. Halle’s mission plaque sat in the Bishops office during every one of those councils. It sat under a picture of Christ. I have no idea how many times I looked over there and was filled with overwhelming pride that I was the mother of that beautiful missionary. Did you know that when you are the YW President they expect you to run the show? Solve problems? Make it all work? And it’s done in front of everyone? Holy cow. I could literally feel myself growing and progressing. I felt like I was the adult I assumed everyone else was. I became comfortable in the doing. I am not cured, but I did conquer some of that shyness. I still didn’t have the guts to yell at the hikers who weren’t quiet while hiking through our OBVIOUS camp site at 6 am. Clearly, there is still room for improvement. 

Early on, I felt like I was floundering. Halle gave me advice. She said, just focus on the Savior. Make it all about 2 Nephi 25:26 "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission their sins.” It became my mantra. It was my screensaver. I quoted it in Presidency meetings, Ward Councils, and Camp meetings. It became my number one goal. To teach, preach, and rejoice in Christ. It didn’t matter if we followed the program perfectly. We met our girls where they were. We taught them how to gain and bear a testimony, how to receive personal revelation, and where to find peace when life gets hard. In teaching of Christ, I learned of Christ. I was given sweet examples of personal revelation. I watched and learned from my Bishop. I became more confident in my own personal relationship with Christ and sought his guidance more than ever before. In short, my testimony grew. 

Yesterday I attended my last Ward Council. I gave the opening prayer. I gave my slightly heated opinion without being asked. I looked over at the missionary plaque and marveled at the fact that my missionary would be home in 12 days. I hope she took advantage of every moment. The good ones, the bad ones, the fun ones, the heartbreaking ones. I hope she comes home with all the things I wanted for her.  

Lifelong friends 

Grand adventures 

Changing lives 

Overcoming shyness 

Strengthened testimony

 

I know I did.