What I learned.

I spent a few days last week at Women's Conference at BYU.  My mom, sister and I went, and it was a dandy time.  One of my favorite talks was given by Janet Preece Gleave.  She spoke about self worth and how to raise women who are confident in who they are.  This is something I have been concerned about since I found out the baby I was carrying was a girl.  I knew she would be tall, and that it would make her different.  I have searched for 8 years for this talk.  I thought I would share my notes it in case you've been looking for it too.

Sister Gleave taught us there were 5 tools to build self worth.  They are:

1.  Refine your ability to receive revelation

• Pray 
• Read your Patriarchal Blessing
• etc.

2.  Practice self talk

• Give and receive positive compliments with sincerity.  (And can I say you have excellent taste in blogs?)
• When someone compliments you, smile and say "Thank you."  Nothing else is needed.
• Celebrate the success of others and tell them!  This can be hard, especially if that success makes you feel envious.  If you do feel envy, see #3.
• Speak well of someone to others.  
• Eliminate self depricating talk.  (This can be a tricky one.)

3.  Give thanks for what you have.  You may want to start a gratitude journal.  Remember that-
Gratitude is the opposite of envy.

4.  Self esteem comes from accomplishment, not from someone telling you that you are wonderful.  (This was a huge light bulb for me.  Who would have thought?  Go ahead and read it again.)

5.  Serve others.  The feelings you have when in the service of others will make you a more mindful and humble person.  Remember: Service is rarely convenient.

Practice these things with your daughters (or sons, or yourself) everyday.  The most important thing when teaching these tools is not to be hypocritical.  You cannot teach these tools, then stand in front of the mirror, with your little daughter next to you, and say "I am so ______ (Ugly, fat, old,etc.)"  What you say to yourself is what they will learn.  Which leads me to my favorite quote of all:

What you do speaks so loud, that I cannot hear what you say.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson