Birth of a Nation! Actually, just a baby.

My niece asked about birth stories.  I thought that was a fun idea.  And if you haven't noticed, I need ideas lately.  I had c-sections for both of my children so their stories aren't that entertaining.  There were highlights.  Here's what I remember.

 Halle-  I was so excited for Halle, I didn't sleep the night before.  I arrived at the hospital with Greg and my mom and was in the process of being "hooked up."  The fetal monitor was put on too tight, which pressed  the baby against against an artery in my back and I passed out.  With a jerk.  I nearly went off the table.  I don't think my mother calmed down after that.  I was covered in a rash and they laid me on this teeny tiny table in the OR.  Naked.  Covered in rash.  I'm sure it was a sight.  I had an awesome anesthesiologist.  His name was Bart.  He held my puke bucket and wiped my tears.  Halle was out in 4 minutes.  I bawled the moment she did.  She was the most beautiful baby.  She came with us to our room afterward, and Greg handed her to my mother.  My sister had arrived and they sang Happy Birthday to her.  My sister fed me french toast.  Later, I puked in a garbage can in front of an entire room full of people.  It was glorious.

The real fun part of Halle's birth story came the next day.  I had just showered, but when I went to put on the hospital gown it was sticky.  So I called the nurse and asked for another.  I was standing in the middle of the room, naked, having just given birth the day before.  I didn't even have those sexy mesh panties on.  I was dripping water, and milk, and whatever else was oozing out of my incision when there was a knock at the door.  I said "Come in!" thinking it would be my nurse with the gown.  I didn't have my contacts in but I realized right away it was a man.  And I knew my nurse was not a man.  He said "Oh!  I'm sorry, I'll come back!"  I didn't want to be prude.  I knew my OB was not doing rounds that day, so I was expecting his partner.  I told him to come on in.  He didn't seem sure he wanted to.  I insisted.  He's an OB!  He sees lots of naked women, in fact, ALL of his patients are women who are USUALLY naked.  It was no big deal.  I was desperately trying to be calm and collected and not make a huge deal of the situation.   I nonchalantly eased my way to the bed, got in and pulled up the sheet.  I looked over at him and smiled.  He looked up at me, at this point I was close enough to see that his face was purple, and said "I'm your daughter's Pediatrician."

I changed doctors and never saw him again.  I'm sure he was relieved I made the change as well.




Halle Rayanne 1 day old






Jack- 28 weeks  Halle 14 months


Jack-I didn't sleep the night before with Jack either.  Greg and I went to the hospital alone this time.  I was hooked up to everything without incident.  Soon it was time to go to the OR.  I walked back with my anesthesiologist.  This time I was even bigger but without the dreaded rash.  I balanced myself on the teeny tiny table after the epidural.  I was not such a fan of this doctor, or his assistant.  They took forever to get Jack out, about 15 minutes and talked about llama's the entire time.  Jack had a hard time getting the hang of breathing and he was taken to the nursery before I could see him.  They asked Greg to go as well and so I was alone.  I later learned that both my mom and dad were looking through the little window of the OR door and could see the top of my head.  I threw up when they took my uterus out to suture.  That was the highlight.  :)  Afterward, I was in my room, shaking badly enough to move my bed across the room when my parents came in.  (What's up with the shaking thing, anyway?)  I didn't hold Jack until about 4 hours later.  He looked NOTHING like Halle.  I was so confused I made Greg rewind the video of his birth so I could be sure he was actually my baby. 

I kept my clothes on as much as possible following his arrival.

Jack- 6 hours old