Wait.....WHAT?!

You know, the fun times never end over here at the Garrett house.  I knew I had to blog today, because....well....I went to the doctor.  And you KNOW that's always a good time.  As all of you know I have Crohn's Disease and had a colectomy in 2000.  It was a good time.  Now I have a J-Pouch instead of a colon.  And almost always, we are good friends.  In all honesty, I have been very blessed with good health.  This disease and my restructured anatomy could be a huge problem.  But everything is wonderful, and has been for 98% of the last 11 years.

Oh, but that 2%.  It's the kicker.

So these last few days I have had some issues.  I know my body pretty well and I am sure I know what is happening.  However, I have a slight fear that I am going to bleed to death, and I am going to Virginia for a week in 5 days, and so I made an appointment.

This is the part of the story where the moral is "Trust your gut."

I had seen the doctor I went to, once before.  I was 37 weeks pregnant with Jack and I needed an antibiotic.  I couldn't get in to my regular doctor, so I went to see this guy.  He asked me to get on the table so he could feel around my gut.  Right then I thought he was an idiot, but I did it anyway.  Guess what?  All he could feel was the 37 week old Jack all rolled up in there.  Duh.  Long story short, I made an appointment and went back to Dr. Duh.  I thought perhaps he has wised up in 8 years.  I should have trusted my first instinct.

First they weigh me.  And oh my.  There was a man doing work in their ceiling while I was being weighed in.  Above my head.  He legs were dangling a few inches above my hair.  I was distracted and it took me a minute to realize that the dumb nurse started the weight thing at 100 pounds.  Come on.  She chunked the thing over to 100 and then slid the other thing all the way to the end.  Then she Chunked it over again.  Chunk, sliiiiiiide.  Chunk, sliiiiiiide.  Chunk, sliiiiide.   Geez.

Then we do the blood pressure.  Right after.  It was a little high from the chunk and slide I had just experienced.

Then in comes Dr. Duh and his peppy 90 pound nurse.  I didn't like her.  He asks about what's going on and so I tell him what I think and what I want.  He then disregards everything I've just said to him, looks at his girly assistant and says the dreaded words...

Brittany, lets get an anoscope.

That's when I physically stood up and said:

Ummm.  I don't think so!  You want to do a colonoscopy anyway, can't you do this then....you know, when I am unconscious?

He then explained his reasoning.  With 5 words.

Well, we have the technology....

I should have walked out.  I have done that before.  It was at this point in my story that my sister said "I'm surprised you didn't just get up and leave."  I should have. Ohhh, I should have. 

After it was all over, (and I will spare you the entire tale, just know it included humiliation and a few tears) he said:

Wait for it...

"I'm not exactly sure what's going on.  We'll know more after the colonoscopy."

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead.  Well....If I could have managed to look him in the face.

And so I scheduled the dumb scope, and left.  In the same exact state that I arrived.  Nothing resolved.  After considering everything, I called the office this morning.  I said "I scheduled a colonoscopy with Dr. Duh yesterday, but I will not be seeing him again.  Is there another doctor who can perform that scope?" 

Let this be a lesson to all of you.  When you are in a doctor's office, and they want you to do something you don't want to do, and it's not necessary, YOU CAN SAY NO. 

And if they don't take no for an answer?  Just get up and walk out.

You have the CHOICE of physicians.  If you don't like them, then pick again!  

And finally, if this kind of thing happens to you, and you are so humiliated you are not sure you can go on as a functioning human being, go ahead and give me a call.  We'll talk it out, because I have SO been there.

I should have told him where he could put his "technology"......He's should have no problems finding it.