It was monumental...

My love for Kenny Rogers is no secret.  In fact, some of you tease me. 
I don't care.

I married a man who likes Kenny too.  So we don't need any of you.  Holly.

For Christmas this last year, I bought Greg tickets to Kenny in Wendover and a night in a suite.  After much anticipation, the day of Kenny came.

It didn't start out well, as I had to do a three hour breath test at the hospital.

First I had to drink some crap that tasted like this:

I texted this to my sister and she called me a cry-baby.

Then I did the stupid breath test.  I had to blow a bag up every 20 minutes.  All this to see if I have bacteria in my gut.  Duh, everyone has bacteria.  I'm done doing tests.

It blew.   Ha!

After that stupid waste of my precious vacation time, we took our kids to my mom's (Thanks Mom and Dad!) and drove out to Wendover.

I may or may not have a major problem with crushed ice and potato chips.  I may have eaten 100 oz. of crushed ice and half a bag of chips on our way out there.  It's fine though.  I hear what happens on the salt flats, stays on the salt flats.  It was actually my first time out there.  Did you know there were acres of salt out there?!?!  It's eerie, driving with water all around.  And that salt?  It looks like ice.  I thought I was in Antarctica.  Except it was 70 degrees.

We stopped in Delle to use the bathroom (did I mention the ice?) and for Greg to restock his fake Twinkie supply.  While we were there, a big carload of people pulled up.  They were hardly dressed, and extremely overweight.  It was like People of WalMart.  Only worse.  They were throwing things around and talking about how drunk they were going to get in Wendover.  I thought "Good grief.  I hope I don't run into them when we get there."

Turns out Wendover is full of those people and their relatives.  And oldies.  I kid you not, I was 60 years younger than 98% of the people there.  One oldie was slumped over her slot machine, I'm sure she was dead.  They bus those elderly people there!  Did you know that?  They all had walkers, and canes.  If I set up a hearing aid cleaning station in that casino, I could have made more money than any of those jackpots.  The good thing is that all the oldies are very friendly and I enjoyed them.  The drunk half nakeds?  Not so much.

When we arrived, we decided to go partake of the buffet.  We sat by a waterfall.  It was a seafood buffet and I don't really like seafood. 

Greg mid chew.

Yeah....the phone camera sucks.

I ate mashed potatoes and two slices of cheesecake.  And I paid $26.  Oh well.

We played the penny slots for awhile.  I had no idea what was going on.  Things were dinging and numbers were spinning.  I honestly had no clue.  I just put money in and pushed buttons.  Seriously, if the elderly could figure it out, I should have been able too.  But I couldn't.  I put $7 in.  At one point I won $21.  I should have cashed out.  But I couldn't figure out how to do that either.  So I played until it was all gone.  Took about 4 minutes.

Then it was time to go back to the room.  I had to put more lipstick on and curl my hair.  I wanted to look really good for my man.

You know.  Kenny.

I was thrilled to be there.  We were really early and we sat and watched all the oldies shuffle in.  I am surprised at how much these older people drink!  They can waddle in with a walker and five beers balanced on top!

Not to be outdone by 80 year olds, we had snazzy drinks too.  Strawberry margaritas. 

Maybe they were virgin, maybe they weren't!!!  Okay they were.

Then, the band came out.  I got really excited.  Then Kenny came out but the lights were all dimmed.  THEN the lights came on.

My mother wept at the Lincoln Monument, my brother got teary eyed at the patriotic portion of the rodeo, and I.....I bawled at the Kenny Rogers concert.

I didn't think I would cry, in fact it never even crossed my mind that I would.  But I did.  Through most of it.

It was a great show.  Never you mind that Kenny can hardly walk and forgot the words of a few songs.  I don't care.  I loved it.  I sang, and clapped, and danced.  Me and all the oldies.  I made friends with the old guy behind us.  He loudly sand the wrong words the entire time.  I laughed and laughed, then he leaned forward and said
"Stop laughing at me!"
And I said
"Stop singing the wrong words!"
We had a great time and if I ever make it to another Kenny concert, the seat behind me is saved for that guy.

I took video with my phone.  It's awful, but I wanted to share it with you.  When we got back to the room I listened to it, and guess what?  The mic was facing me, so although you can hear Kenny singing, you can also hear me.  It's a duet. 

Did you know I can't sing?  I discovered that fact one night in a Wendover hotel room. 

In our room was a full sized hot tub.  So I filled that baby to the top, squeezed the entire little bottle of body wash in it and turned on the jets.  It had a waterfall.  I laid in that thing, under the water fall and sang every Kenny song I could think of, acappella, for at least an hour.  Greg cheered me on for awhile and then he turned the tv on.  I don't know why he doesn't appreciate me and my entertainment value more.

After the tub, I was starving so Greg and I waded through the crazies in the casino to get to the restaurant.  We shared a club sandwich and a chocolate shake.  On the way back upstairs, we slow danced in a hallway. 

I can't get over it.  It was such a great concert. 

I'm totally going next year..
you know, if he's still alive.



Alright, I'll show you a video.  Don't you judge me.