Older Gentlemen

Heavens to Betsy, I have had quite the day with old men.  I'll tell you, there are only 4 kinds of old men.

1.  The sexist.  This man will not even let you hold his hearing aids if you are a woman.  You can put your hand out and say "Let's have a look!"  and he will stare at you for 45 seconds and then say "Isn't there a man here I can talk to?" I want to kick them out of my store.

2.  The used-to-be-lady's-man.  He flirts, calls you "honey" and winks.  If he gets the chance, he'll hug you and kiss your hand or cheek.  If he's got a touch of dementia, he may squeeze your bum.

3.  Grumpy.  Nothing's right.  And it's all your fault.  He's mean to everyone.  Including his wife and your mother.  I want to kick them out of my store.  He says things like "I hate this damn thing.  It's never worked."

4.  The temple worker.  He comes in all dressed up on his way to the temple.  He reminds you of every Bishop you've ever loved.  He's my favorite.

Now, I've worked here for a year and a half and I had two things happen to me that have never happened before. 

First thing this morning Mr. Crase came in.  His name should be Mr. Crase-ey....because he is.  Jesse was standing next to me and he walked up to my counter without so much as a hello, he pointed his cras-ey finger at me and said "Is that your WIFE?"  "No," Jesse said "That's my sister."  Then Mr. Crase said in a loud booming voice (cause he can't hear, don't you know)

SHE CLEANED MY HEARING AIDS LAST WEEK, AND SHE BROKE EM!

My mouth fell open and I stared at him.  I stopped myself from saying "I did not!" but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. 

Laughing at him didn't help.  He wanted to hook those hearing aids up to the 'puter to see what I did to them.  He's convinced I poked things in the holes and broke it all to bits.  ....Cause that's what I'm good at, bustin up the hearing aids.

This afternoon Mr. Strawberry (Name has been changed for my own protection.  It has something to do with a berry.) came in.  He calls me "girl" and winks.  He calls himself "Rotten Richard."  I try to steer clear.  He came and left his hearing aids this morning and came back after lunch to pick them up.  "Well, Girl.  Are they ready?"  he asked.  I retrieved his aids and while I had my back turned he came around my corner.  He thanked me, hugged me, kissed my cheek, and then slapped my bum.  I said "Oh!  My goodness." 

When he left I told my boss.  He laughed and gave me the best excuse he had for such behavior:

"Yeah......Richard Strawberry.  Well......he's Greek."

I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered.