Our Marriage is like our toaster

13 years ago our toaster was gifted to us by some forgotten friend or family member.  It's lifetime of toasting began bright and shiney.  It was clean and bright white.  And it toasted nicely.  I was pleased.

13 years ago our marriage was also gifted to us, and I truly believe we agreed to be together before we came.  It's eternal lifespan began with a bright and shiney ring.  It was clean and bright, and sealed in the Timpanogos Temple.  And it toasted nicely ;).  I was pleased.

But then, shortly after the ceremony and honeymoon, things began happening.  Illness, struggles, trials, heartache. 

And we ate a lot of toast.

The wear and tear of it all began to show on both.  Our marriage has been imprinted with the lessons we have learned and strengthened with the hard things we have done.  Our toaster has likewise been imprinted with bread bags, bagel bags, and shows the marks of being dropped, burned, and spilled on.

When we first moved into our Ogden home, my dad sat at my kitchen table and watched me unpack a box.  It held the toaster.  Later he told my mom to please buy us a new toaster, ours looked awful and they aren't that much.  I was a bit offended when she tried.  There's nothing wrong with our toaster!  She toasts just fine!  Bread? Sure!  Bagel?  Of course!  Toaster Struddel?  Anytime! 

At times I do inventory of our marriage too.  Usually in darker times.  Sometimes I wonder if I should get a new one.  You know, something shinier.  Maybe it would be easier!  And yet, I was a bit offended when someone mentioned a new one to me.  There is nothing wrong with the core of my marriage!  Is there love?  Of course!  Compassion?  Sure!  The assurance that we are meant to be together?  YES.

So I'll hang on to this beat up, old toaster.  I choose to keep her around and not replace her yet.  Even though 13 years is kind of a long time for a toaster... I like her.

And I'll hang on to this beat up marriage too.  I am grateful for the trials and hardships we've had.  Even if we've had more than our share.  I'm grateful for the strength of a marriage that is also a covenant.  I have faith and hope that the hurricane of addiction with be weathered, and our relationship will continue to grow stronger for the things we've learned and surety that we can do anything as long as we are together.  Not everyone has the opportunity to strengthen their marriage through hard trials like we have.  I love my husband, and I will fight for him forever.  He's worth it.  Plus there's this nagging feeling that I agreed to this in some other place, at some other time.  I think they told him what he would have to do in this life, that he would go through surgeries, amputations, brain tumors, unemployment, addiction that would rob him of everything.  And knowing how hard it would be, the toll it would take on his relationships, he looked at me and asked it I would be there with him.

And I said yes.

Happy Anniversary on Monday, Babe.