Primary Teacher cont.

Remember a few posts back about the cop who signed my fix-it ticket?  And how it was a blessing because I started reading my scriptures again?

Well, I've gotten behind in my reading.

And I get an email everyday that berates me and never lets me forget how I am a failure.

*DING* my cellphone says in the early morning hours.  And of course my curiosity refuses to let me ignore it, so I roll over and see that it's an email. 

And I don't know why I am surprised, it happens every day.

They don't come right out and SAY that I am going straight to hell.  They sugar coat it a little bit.

"Good Morning Jenalee!  You are now 5 days behind on your scripture reading!  Come back soon!"

"Sister Garrett.  You are now 7 days behind on your scripture reading!  Do you want to cancel your account?"

"Wake up Sinner!  You are 45 days behind on your scripture reading.  Starting getting your eternal fill of ice water now!  While you're still in the flesh!"

Honestly, it all reminds me of the harassment I endured at the hands of the Red Cross.  Before I met a man in a parking lot and paid him to get me off their "list."

See, I have heavenly blood.  O- without some antibody in it.  Prime blood for babies.  And I'm not a wuss, so I donated regularly.  I'm all about helping babies. 

And free cookies. 

Then one day I went back to work, and I was busy.  The Red Cross didn't leave me alone.  They called and left me messages every day.  First the caller ID said "ARC" and I knew who it was, and I didn't answer.  Then they started with trickery.  The caller ID didn't say "ARC" anymore, it said something like "cookies," you know, to sway me into answering it.  In the end it was little 10 digit threats.  They left me messages.

"Mrs. Garrett!  We wanted to let you know you are eligible to donate blood again!  Call us to make and appointment!"

"Mrs. Garrett, you have special blood.  You can share it any time with those in need..."

"Hey Selfish.  Babies are dying and it's all your fault."

In all honesty, before I got taken off the list, a lady did tell me that babies were dying.

And that rubbed me wrong.

Now I only donate to ARUP or AARP or some such thing. 

I can't remember what it's called because my daily wake-up-and-mock-me emails are cutting into my sleep.